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Bad Behaviors to Avoid When Getting Divorced

Behaviors to avoid when getting divorced

Going through a divorce can make you feel anxious, worried and sometimes angry and resentful. There are times when your emotions run high and make you want to do something to get back at your soon-to-be ex-spouse for whatever wrongs you believe they are responsible for. These feelings are understandable, but acting on them will not gain an advantage and will likely make things harder for you. 

Negative behavior can impact your kids and the court’s opinion of you. Don’t ruin your chances at child custody or risk arrest. Here is a list of what not to do during your divorce, no matter how much your stress levels rise: 

  1. Don’t do anything with your spouse’s property — Damaging or destroying your spouse’s personal property makes it look like you can’t control yourself. Don’t sell or give the property away, either. Put the items somewhere where you don’t have to look at them until the divorce is over.
  2. Don’t post negative material on social media — You can be sure your ex and their lawyer will be monitoring what you post on Instagram, Facebook and other social media you use. Don’t post anything that could come back to haunt you, such as rants and other derogatory comments about your spouse.
  3. Don’t harass or stalk your spouse — It can be hard to let go of a relationship, even if it’s not a healthy one. But you need to avoid contacting your spouse, their family, friends and co-workers during divorce. It can be construed as harassment or stalking and can get you in trouble.
  4. Don’t badmouth your spouse in front of your kids — Children deserve a fair shot at maintaining a healthy relationship with both their parents. Speaking ill of your ex around your kids can lead a judge to believe you are trying to manipulate their attitudes, which will only hurt your position in child custody proceedings. And do not allow third parties to bad mouth your spouse when the children are within ear shot. 
  5. Don’t get carried away with bad communication — Evidence of aggressive or harassing communication can be used in court. Restrain yourself from calling or texting your ex when you are angry or upset. Don’t leave angry voicemails or send DMs on social media when you’re having a bad day. Similarly, if your ex is attacking you with calls or texts, don’t take the bait. Take the higher road when communicating with your ex. Be respectful and civil in all communications with your ex.
  6. Don’t let negativity overwhelm you — Realize that as bad as you might feel right now, there will be life after divorce, and it can be quite satisfying and fulfilling. This is a chance to reset and reposition yourself for a happier future. Engaging in counseling or joining a peer group can be helpful when you get overwhelmed. 

At the Law Offices of Bonnie E. Saltzman, LLC, we have wide experience guiding people through the Colorado divorce process and are here to help you. Please call our Greenwood Village office at 720-388-1565 or contact us online to set up a free initial consultation.